IF Comp ’12 – Robert DeFord’s The Sealed Room!October 9, 2012
The name Robert DeFord makes me feel like I am a failure at raising chickens. Let’s see if we can hatch any new associations with it. Oh ho ho I made a chicken joke! Hey, which one of these games do you think he wrote first? Get it? Which came first?
I am on fucking fire tonight. If I were a chicken, I would be fully cooked and delicious by now. Wait. I just made myself hungry by imagining that I was a delicious chicken. That’s kind of messed up.
[spoilers begin here]
He fingers two of these charms, a unicorn and a dragon, as he starts speaking in a low voice:
” Let this man know my arcane chambers. […]”
This is generally the point at which I call the cops.
> ask dragon about dragons
“Dragons are good people.”
I suspect bias.
The wizard who cast it has great power, that’s for sure.
> ask unicorn about wizard
The word ‘wizard’ is not used in this game.
Lies! Bold faced lies!
Okay, this cracked me up:
> ask unicorn about myself
“I don’t know you very well, but based on what I’ve seen so far, you appear to be a intelligent, sensitive person who is a bit confused by all that’s happened.”
> ask dragon about myself
“You seem like you don’t know your butt from a loaf of bread.”
> eat butt
The word ‘butt’ is not used in this game.
Uh. I asked the unicorn about help, and he offered me a small purse or beef jerky, but I had no idea what the correct command to take them was, so I think I missed out? Oh, no, you can still ask him for them. Confusing!
A mouth materializes in the middle of the dark patch. “I must have payment!” the mouth says. “Put the right two gold items into my slot and I will be open.”
Things keep getting sexy tonight. I guess it’s just one of those nights.
Well, that was a thing. A short thing. It wasn’t particularly broken that I noticed. Got confused once, had a nice laugh, made it to the end, moving on with my life.
I mean, if that’s all right with everybody. I could stay here and make more chicken jokes.