Archive for November, 2010

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A postcard from Ocean City

November 20, 2010

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Hug Me, I Voted!

November 16, 2010

Will polish up and post the last couple reviews, plus do the whole post-comp rundown thing (probably in this space) once I’ve written this speech I’m supposed to have memorized by tomorrow morning for Japanese class.  (Is it that you like a food?  I also like a food!  This is the story of a food.  Let us be friends.)

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IF Comp ’10 – Matt Wigdahl’s Aotearoa!

November 15, 2010

I’m very slightly dreading posting this one, because it contains an opinion on political correctness.  Therefore, because I never ever learn, I’m sharing the contentiousness with the RSS buffer.

See, I’m torn.  On the one hand, I absolutely hate the mindset, so prevalent on the internet, that if you are offended by anything you are a whiny pussy bitch with sand in your vagina, particularly if the thing you are offended by is the casual misogyny inherent in the phrase “whiny pussy bitch with sand in your vagina.”  It leads to an atmosphere where genuine hatred and intolerance are allowed to quietly coexist among people who are being ironic, people who are being funny, people who use the word “ghey” (may they burn in some special hell), and God forbid you stand up for yourself, or for someone else, or for civil rights.

On the other hand, sometimes I read things like this, and think “Wow, what manner of drugs got mixed into the sand in your vagina?”  Are any interactions that an Asian person has with the color yellow inherently racist?  Is it homophobic to have a gay character gathering firewood, because fagot once meant a bundle of sticks?  When looking at something that might be construed as offensive, depending on interpretation, are we obligated to be offended every time or never offended at all?

What does framing things in terms of being offended and stopping there do for anybody anyway?  It’s only the reaction you get on the surface when you feel things are wrong and unfair on a fundamental level.  Instead of “I’m offended,” how about “Everyone is a human being deserving of, at the very least, basic human rights, and I’m going to try every way I can think of to communicate this to you and everyone else, on the off chance that I can convince just one more person of this, because my carbon footprint is huge, I don’t pay enough attention to where my clothes are made, and this is the only way I know of to maybe make the world a slightly better place.”

…well, that was a thing that just happened.  Why am I standing on this soapbox?  Where are my clothes?

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’10 – Michael Martin’s Flight of the Hummingbird!

November 14, 2010

If you were wondering about Octodad, it is probably awesome, assuming you can master the individual limb controls that I suspect provide most or all of the game’s difficulty.  I couldn’t tell you myself, having been defeated by a four-inch-high step in the tutorial room.  This might be an indicator that the game is not, in fact, awesome, but I refuse to believe such a thing is possible.  I mean, come on, it’s Octodad!  Whoo!  Octodad!

Guys?

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’10 – Simon Christiansen’s Death Off the Cuff!

November 14, 2010

Riff tells me I will like this one.  This is heartening, because man did I hate that game Simon Christiansen did two years ago where… well, shit, that’s a spoiler, but the game is fucking called Grief, all right?  So take your best guess.  I sort of feel bad now, for having hated that game so much.  Hopefully this is the year where Simon Christiansen and I call it squaresies and split a muffin.

Update:  Oh, wait, is this a completely different guy or have I been spelling his name wrong for the past two years?  Oh my God I have.  I am such an asshole!  He’ll never split a muffin with me now!  I wouldn’t split a muffin with me either.

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’10 – Brian Rapp’s Under, In Erebus!

November 12, 2010

Huh.  To the list of search engine questions I don’t know the answer to, add “why is the Bible like a hammer?”  Because when all you have is a Bible, every problem looks like a nail?  Please, Bible, don’t hurt ‘em?  Dude, I don’t know!  What kind of crazy search engine are you guys even using, that one of my Bible game reviews shows up as a result for that query?  GoAskAlice?  Gibbering Dogloaf?  QuestionsYouDon’tReallyCareAboutDotCom?  Is it even an actual search engine and not, like, something someone made you out of things they found in the yard because they ain’t got no damn money?  Are you on the internet right now, or are you out in the forest screaming into a hole?  Am I screaming into a hole?  I’m pretty sure I’m screaming into something.

Also?  The new SuperMega is pretty great.  (I want one of those shirts.)

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’10 – Steve van Gaal’s Gris et Jaune!

November 11, 2010

Gris et Jaune is French for gray and yellow, as if any of you did not actually know that.  I am just thrilled whenever I encounter something I actually remember from high school French.  Mon ami Chris a dit que le writing dans cette game est bien, dakara, nous le playons!  Vite!  Vite!  Allons-y!  Pain au chocolat!  To the bibliotheque!

[les spoilers sont beginnent ici yo]

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